Crush, Crush, Crushed
by StariaSestra
Summary: Looking back April shouldn't have been surprised that she fell in love with a five foot tall talking turtle. It was almost inevitable really considering they made up over sixty-five percent of her social circle. It wasn't all that weird…probably. Written for Raphril week.


Note: In which Raph is the most tsundere shojou manga heroine of them all. I usually write Raph with the crush but for once I decided to torment April. Turn about of fair play and all. This was another one written for Raphil week that I forgot to post.

* * *

This was a bad idea.

It only took about twenty minutes of staring at the turnstile for April to draw this conclusion. In that time she'd managed to rest her hand on the cool metal bar but to be honest it was not near enough a reward for the amount of work it had required.

Walking in was supposed to be the easy part.

Just push through the gate like usual and walk in. There was no reason to go making a big deal out of it, April reminded herself once again. This wasn't her first movie night. She'd hung out with the guys plenty of times before. Heck she'd even lived with them for a while. So this should be nothing at all. Easy as pie.

Still, no matter how many times she told herself, reassured herself, coaxed herself, April found she couldn't move a single step.

This was definitely, definitely, a bad idea.

Her whole disastrous plan, if you can even call it that, was a bad idea.

Coming over for movie night? Bad idea.

Standing at the front gate for a million years? Bad idea.

Dressing up had certainly been a bad idea, April realized as she tugged at the hem of her blouse. All of a sudden the fabric of her shirt felt too flimsy, too exposing, her jeans felt too tight, and she was sure her boots looked stupid. Not to mention her hair, April huffed as she blew a loose strand out of her face.

It wasn't even like it mattered anyways.

The only way Raph would notice something she wore would be if he could tease her for it. Mustard stain on her shirt? He would be all over that. But show up with a new haircut and it took two weeks for him to even notice.

April let out a breathy sigh. Of course she'd develop feeling for the most oblivious of the four brothers. He wouldn't notice her crush if it smacked him over the head.

Closing her eyes, April bit back another sigh. It was all a big waste of time 'd been friends for over a year. If Raph hadn't noticed her by this point, a simple change of wardrobe probably wasn't going to make much of a difference.

It took every ounce of April's strength not to turn around and go home to change. In fact, maybe going home and changing was a good idea after all, or just going home and staying there forever. That was starting to sound like a good idea too.

Slowly, April pulled her hand back from the gate.

If she could make it out of the tunnels without the guys noticing then she'd text them and say she was sick. Spending the rest of the night curled up around a bowl of ice cream, watching some mindless television was staring to seem more and more appealing.

No.

No. No. No

April's hand sprung forward, grasping the cool metal until it creaked beneath her palm.

What the heck was up with this quitting nonsense? She was a kunoichi, well a kunoichi in-training at least, not some scared little girl and this was just embarrassing.

It had taken a full hour to pick out her outfit and even longer to muster up the courage to head out the door. There was no way she was backing down now. No way.

Taking advantage of this sudden burst of bravado, April shoved her way through the gate. The thump of her boots on the cement floor echoed through the cavernous hallways.

The noise, while satisfying, was enough to draw some attention. Taking note of her arrival, Leo glanced up from where he'd been lounging in the Pit. The television blared with what seemed to be a Space Heroes re-run. April could only hope that was not all, they would be watching tonight. Space Heroes was cool and all but Leo could be a bit…fanatical at times.

"Hey April," he called cheerfully. Catching sight of her outfit, he blinked for a second at the change before nodding. "You look nice today. Something special going on?"

Flushing, April had to resist the urge to tug on her shirt again.

"Nothing special, I just felt like dressing up," she replied. Thankfully her voice remained steady though her pulse was racing.

Glancing around she noticed the Lair was unusually empty. Normally at least a few of the Hamato family were wandering about, but it appeared that Leo was the only one about. April's brow furrowed in confusion. She had come on the right day. Tonight was movie night right?

"Where is everybody?"

Glancing up at the ceiling Leo began ticking off fingers.  
"Mikey's in the kitchen making snacks. I'd be careful about going in there unless you want pizza sauce on your clothes. He's working on one of his new creations." Leo made a face before continuing. "Donnie and Casey are in the lab fighting over which movie we're going to watch. Last time I checked they were still battling it out between Jurassic World and The Theory of Everything." Folding his arms across his plastron, Leo slumped into a pout. "They already vetoed Space Heroes III: The Search for Dr. Mindstrong."

April clasped a hand to her mouth to keep a giggle from squeaking out, covering it with a cough at the last second.

"Their loss then," she finally managed sympathetically, which seemed to placate Leo a little.

April paused, waiting for Leo to continue, but he had already turned his attention back to the television. Finally, after a few minutes of silence April cleared her throat.

"…And Raph?" She managed, regretting the words immediately after they had left her mouth.

April could feel her hands twitching as panic set in. So much for going for inconspicuous. She might as well have written _I'm totally in love with your brother_ across her forehead while she was at it.

Thankfully, Leo seemed oblivious as he continued to stare at the TV.  
"I think he's in the dojo. Master Splinter had him doing squats." Before she could even ask why, Leo sent a tiny smirk in April's direction. "He busted the toaster again. Forth one this week. I thought Donnie's head was going to explode. That was a while ago though. He should be done by now."

Sensing an opportunity, April folded her hands behind her back. Studiously keeping her eyes from straying towards the dojo, she tried to keep her voice as light and disinterested as possible.

"I can go get him if you want."

"Hmmm?" Leo, already engrossed in the continuing adventures of Captain Ryan, barely seemed to register that she'd said anything. "Sure, I mean if you want to."

As she sidled up to the dojo's entrance April could feel her heart pounding like it was trying to escape her chest. It was only by sheer will alone that she even managed to make it across the threshold.

As she took in the room, April could feel her temperature begin to rise. Raph, long done with his punishment, had moved on to his own personal exercise regime. With a grim determination the red masked turtle pushed himself through rep after rep of push-ups. Each one feeding into the next with an easy familiarity.

The rhythm of his movements was almost hypnotic. April couldn't help but watch as the muscles in his arms bunching and unfurling as he moved with thoughtless ease. Seeing him at work was always a treat, one that April had less opportunity to indulge in then she would have liked.

Getting distracted in the dojo often came with painful consequences. So for once, April allowed herself to look her fill.

It was clear that he'd been at it for a while. April's eyes followed the curve of his shoulders as a single bead of sweat trailed down. Watching as it finally slipping off his elbow to disappear into the carpet.

Despite herself April couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy. He made the exercise look so easy but April knew from experience it was anything but. Thinking of her own twiggy arms, she resolved to up her own training regime.  
While it made her skin tingle whenever Raph wrapped his hand around her bicep, the feeling was always diminished by the following comment unfavorably comparing them to chopsticks.

Taking a breath April took in the familiar scent of green leaves, steel, as sweat. It was soothing in its own way and April could feel a wave of calm settling over her racing heart. It allowed her to cross the dojo to settle among the knotted roots at the base of the tree.

Setting her back against the cool bark gave April the added advantage of being able to watch as Raph continued to work, seemingly oblivious to her presence.  
"Need something?"

Perhaps less oblivious than April had originally thought, Raph slanted an eye in her direction. Though her presence was not enough for him to pause his work-out, there was a suspicious glint is his eye as he watched her lounge.

With his eyes on her April could feel every word she'd ever learned dry up on her tongue. It happened, every so often, usually when they were alone, and April was left scrambling for something to say. Correction, something to say that didn't leave her sounding like a complete idiot.

"Just enjoying the view."

Well, so much for not sounding like a complete idiot.

As soon as the words had left her mouth, April immediately wished that the ground would open up and swallow her whole. It was too late to take it back though, and the red-head was left to stew in her own embarrassment as the seconds ticked by in time with her thumping heart.

Thankfully, Raph seemed to ignore her obvious slipup, his rhythm not even faltering. Though he did let out a small snort that might have been laughter, or possibly derision. April wasn't sure which possibility was worse.

"Yeah right," Raph grunted, attention returned to his task. "Have Donnie and Casey picked a movie yet?"

"Nope," April replied as a teasing smirking slid into place, "but I heard The Notebook's in the running."

This time Raph did pause, if only to point a thick green finger in her direction before continuing. "No way. Not again. You already tricked me into watching that once."

"Yeah right," April couldn't help but snicker, "you loved it."

The look Raph turned in her direction was enough to peel paint, but it only made April laugh harder.

Eventually the two lapsed into a companionable silence. Raph, steadily putting his body through its paces, and April content to watch the way the green shadows of the leaves played across his skin and shell.

Slowly, the world seemed to collapse into a single spot. The world outside the dojo faded to nothing until the room, and the two people within it was all that remained.

The room was blissfully silent. While April loved the bustle of her friends' home, loved the way it felt warm and full, loved that there was always someone around, there was something to be said for just sitting in silence.

As she leaned back against the tree, April could feel herself begin to float. All the tension of the day seemed to just float away. The sound only sound she could hear was Raph's breath, whispering through the dojo like a lullaby.

It was so soothing in fact, that when Raph finally did speak, April nearly missed it.

"So I gotta ask…what's with the get up?"

"Hmmm?" murmured April fuzzily, trying to regain her bearings.

"Your clothes," Raph clarified, though his tone carried a strong dose of exasperation. "You look different."

Through all his bravado, April could almost taste the underlying embarrassment is his words. There was hesitancy there that was unusual for the temperamental turtle. While she would have liked to attribute it to something romantic, April had long ago learned better. If anything he was probably embarrassed about asking what he considered such a girly question.

"Got someone you wanna impress or something?"

And there it was. Laid out before her on a silver platter. The perfect opportunity to tell Raph how she felt.

There were so many things April wanted to say. She'd planned this out for days, weeks if she was being honest with herself. A million scenarios, a million possible admissions, but it seemed that face to green face April couldn't recall a single one.

"M-maybe there's someone…" April trailed of, glancing at him hopefully out of the corner of her eye.

It wasn't flowery, it was barely even coherent, but those few word seemed enough for her red-masked friend.

Slowly, eyes trained on April, Raph got to his feet. After having only part of his attention for so long the intensity of his gaze felt like it was burning her from the inside out.

"Really?"

Something in Raph's tone made April freeze.

There was nothing there that she would have expected. No embarrassment, not even rejection. The only emotion as far as she could tell was impassive resignation.

With a long-suffering sigh the young ninja raised a hand to his face, rubbing the bridge of his beak as he did so.

"What's with you guys? You got love on the brain, all of you."

This was not at all how April had expected this conversation to go.  
With each word a chasm seemed to open up in the pit of her stomach. A part of her wanted to run, or make a joke out of it, maybe say she'd made up the whole thing. Raph would probably buy it. But something kept her pinned in place, trapped, forcing to watch like a bystander at a traffic accident.

Seeing April's horrified face Raph sighed again, letting his hand fall to fold across his chest.

"Fine, fine," He grumbled, turning his face away from April, "I'll distract Donnie and Casey, and you can sneak out of here. I'll even make up an excuse for you. Just stop making that face okay?"

And there it was.

The line in the sand.

April could feel her throat tightening as tears burned at the corner of her eyes. It was no good. Without even knowing it Raph had made his feeling clear.

Worse than being oblivious, it seemed that Raph had outright rejected the idea of her as being female at all. Never mind a relationship material. It was like every worst-case scenario she had ever imagined, only a thousand times worse because Raph was staring at her with a mixture of detached confusion that made her stomach churn.

Suddenly able to move again April scrambled to her feet, turning on her heel so she didn't have to look Raph in the eye. She could feel her face burn with humiliation but managed to hold it together. It was a close call.

It was bad enough to be rejected by him. The idea of Raph happily, or at least resignedly, helping her escape to some fictitious rendezvous was just disaster waiting to happen. She needed to get out of there and fast, April realized. There was no reason to make the situation any worse than it already was by crying in front of him.

"I, um, I should probably go see if the guys have picked out a movie yet." April stammered. Her voice while a bit horse, mercifully managed to hold steady.

Gathering what little dignity she had left, April stomped out of the dojo, not even bothering to see if Raph was behind her. Not that she cared anyways. He probably thought she was going off to find some random stranger to make-out with or something.

Angrily, the young woman swiped at her eyes. This was fine. Absolutely fine. If Raph didn't like her it didn't even matter. April wasn't going to waste tears over something so stupid. She had better things to do with her time.

Meanwhile in the Pit, Mikey, Leo, Donnie, and Casey seemed to still be arguing over which movie they were going to watch. From the looks of it Donnie and Casey were about ten seconds from getting into a fist fight. Meanwhile, Leo was waving his Space Heroes DVD over his head like it was going to change their minds. Mikey, on the other hand, seemed to be content with working his way through the snacks he'd prepared. Watching the others argue like it was a tennis match.

Suddenly frustrated with the lot of them, and life in general, April planted her hands firmly on her hips.

"I WANT TO WATCH UP!" She bellowed, cutting through the arguing voices with ease.

Immediately all arguments ceased, and four pairs of eyes turned in April's direction. Seeing her heaving chest, and furious glare the four boys seemed to wilt.

"Sure, that's a great idea April," said Leo, hands raised in surrender. Whenever April got in one of her imperious moods it was better to back down and ride it out. "I'll just…set up the movie okay?"

Not even bothering to respond April settled onto the bench with a thump. She'd come here for movie night and by god she was going to have a movie night. She deserved that much at least.

As the film began to play though, April could once again feel the prickle of tears forming at the corners of her eyes. This time at least she had a good reason as Carl watched his beloved Ellie die. This was the way love was supposed to be. Not pining over a guy who didn't even care if she went on a date with some stranger.

Her tears, April told herself, had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Raph hadn't come to join them for the movie.

It really wasn't even that big a deal, she tried to console herself. At least she hadn't embarrassed herself too badly. Raph seemed content to ignore her feelings and with any luck it would stay that way. All April had to do was lay low for a while, let some time pass. Eventually these feelings would pass and everything would go back to normal. There were plenty of fish in the pond and she'd just have to find someone else. Someone better.

Surprisingly the thought wasn't as comforting as it should have been.

"I should be sitting beside April," a voice to her left hissed, and April had to bite back a frustrated groan.

Clearly it was too much to ask for to even watch a movie in peace as Casey and Donnie continued to bicker beside her.

"Hey, I called dibs gap-tooth so too bad."

"Gap-tooth? Look whose talking puck-breath."

"Why I aughta…"

April flinched as their argument began to increase in volume, causing Leo to send a pointed glare in the pairs direction. Seeing that it likely wasn't going to subside anytime soon, the young leader merely shook his head and subtly tapped the volume button on the TV remote, hoping to drown out their squabbling.

It wasn't that April didn't occasionally find their attention flattering; at times it was even charming. It was nice to feel appreciated every so often. The only problem was April was starting to doubt that Donnie and Casey's attention was sincere.

Sure, Casey and Donnie cared about her; April had no doubt about that. It was just they had been fighting over her for so long it was starting to seem like they cared more about one-upping each other, of winning the coveted April-trophy, then about what made her happy.

"If you want me to move so bad why don't you make me?"

The pair's fighting had devolved from a hissed argument to a face-to-face screaming match, completely drowning out any chances of hearing the movie. Like Leo, Mikey had moved closer to the TV as Donnie and Casey's volume increased. Unlike the other two, April was comfortable where she was and had no intention of moving.

"Would you guys cut it out?" April finally snapped, completely out of patience with Donnie and Casey's childish behavior. "Some of us would like to hear what's going on if you don't mind."

Immediately the two boys turned to her, contrition written all over their faces.

"Sorry April," said Donnie apologetically. His shoulders slumped guiltily as he stared at her with those puppy-dog eyes of his. The boy was master of the guilt trip; April had to give him that.

 _Of course the wrong turtle ninja would have a crush on her_ , a small voice in the back of her head whispered traitorously.

Immediately April shoved the thought away. Now was not the time. Though truthfully her life would be a lot easier if she'd fallen for Donnie instead.

"Yeah sorry Red," Casey added, looking about as sorry as Casey ever did. Checking her up and down a small grin formed of his face and April could see the wheels turning in his head. "You look great by the way. You're rocking that outfit."

Nodding emphatically Donnie took a seat on April's right, boxing her in between their two bodies.

"As much as I hate to agree with Casey," Donnie sent a glare in the other teen's direction. "I have to say you look beautiful tonight. Not that you don't look beautiful every night. Or during the day. I mean all the time…not that I'm watching you all the time or anything. What was I talking about again?"

"Smooth," Casey muttered under his breath but thankfully Donnie didn't seem to notice.

At least they weren't arguing anymore April thought grimly, though she could feel Donnie pressing in on her right, even as Casey tried to casually pass his arm over her shoulder on her right. If they tried to go any further though, April decided, she going home. Nuts to the lot of them. Let Raph think what he wanted.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, small chunks of white seemed to rain down from the sky. It took a split second for April to realize it was in fact popcorn. Really, really buttery popcorn. Jerking up with a yelp April began to pat herself down, trying desperately to dislodge the pieces of snack food before they did too much damage. She could already feel the oil seeping into the fabric of her blouse.

Wheeling around the red-head found herself staring into the eyes of a stormy faced Raph, who looked not at all apologetic despite spilling food all over her new clothes. For a moment her heart leapt in response to his closeness, but April studiously ignored it, instead fixing a glare of her own in place.

"What the heck Raph?" She growled as she tried to shake out a particularly stubborn kernel.

"My bad." Still glaring, Raph gave an unapologetic shrug. "My hand slipped."

Grabbing her around the wrist he dragged her up and out of the pit with ease. April, surprised by the suddenness of his touch, allowed him to do it.

"What a mess," He muttered taking in her state, "we should probably get you cleaned up."

Not even giving her a chance to respond Raph, hand still firmly around her wrist, dragged April off towards the kitchen. Donnie and Casey looked like they meant to follow but Raph pinned them with a severe glare.

"You dorks stay here and watch the rest of the movie."

His tone left no room for argument and the two sunk sullenly back down to the bench. As he tugged her away, April could hear the two muttering mutinously at each other about whose fault the whole thing was.

As they padded through the darkened hallway April could feel the weight of the day pressing down on her shoulders. She was tired. So very, very tired. After all she had gone through, April wanted nothing more than to go home, curl up under her blankets, and hide there until the world ended.

The last place she wanted to be was alone with Raph and that seemed to be exactly his intention.

"What are you doing?" asked April, exhaustion weighting down her words.

Seriously, if he tried to send her off to meet some imaginary boy Raph was going to get up close and intimate with the business end of her fan. Crush or no crush.

"I don't know," Raph's words came out hard through his clenched teeth. Grabbing the curtain to the kitchen he wrenched it back with more force than was strictly necessary. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

When they finally made it to the sink, Raph finally seemed to notice her wrist still clutched in his grasp. Startled at her closeness, he dropped it like it was on fire and took a step back.

"I just…you looked uncomfortable. I hate it when Donnie and Casey mob you like that."

Only an hour or so ago April had been positive that any hope she'd held towards Raph had died a quick, grim death. Seeing him now though, standing there with his arms crossed, vicious scowl on his face. April was starting to have second thoughts.

"Raph," she said slowly, choosing her words with care in case she was wrong. "Are you…Are you jealous?"

"What? No!"

Flustered and unable to hide it Raph scrambled around looking for something April could use to clean of the remains of his popcorn. Grabbing a clean hand towel, he shoved it in her direction though he refused to meet her eyes.

"I mean what did you think was going to happen when you come around Donnie and Casey dressed like that? They turn into a pair of slobbering idiots."

Despite his words April could see a tinge of red spreading vibrantly across his green skin.

"Besides, don't you have some guy you like?"Raph spat the words _some guy_ like they left a bad taste in his mouth. "Whoever he is you better bring him over so I can let him have it."

April could barely hear the rest of his words; her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears. Maybe, just maybe, Raph really hadn't realized her feelings at all.

To some extent she had been sure that deep down he'd known and was trying, in his own indelicate way, to spare her feelings. Now…now she wasn't so sure.  
In that moment all the anxiety, all the frustration, all the sadness of the day condensed inside April's hearth. It tightened and compressed forming a ball of white-hot fury. Here she was blubbering like an idiot over a rejection when she hadn't even really told Raph anything in the first place.

"Well that's super convenient," said April, her voice faux bright, "because the guy I like just happens to be right here."

There, she thought brimming with self-satisfaction, if he was going to reject her then at least she was going to go out with some dignity.

There was a moment of silence as Raph seemed to process her words. Then, slowly, a flush of red washed over his face like a wave, turning him bright crimson.

"HUH!?" Raph barely managed to squeak, his entire posture rigid with shock.

Seeing him so shaken gave April a small sadistic rush of satisfaction. So much so that she couldn't resist prodding him some more.

"Go on," she prompted, waving a hand imperiously in his direction, "I thought you were going to let him have it."

"What? I mean…I never…" Still stumbling over his words, unable to fully comprehend what April had just admitted, Raph was left floundering. "If it was any of us I thought…Donnie…Me?."

It was too much to bear. Shoving her hand to her mouth April tried to hold it back but it was too late. Seeing the normally macho Raph blushing and stammering was just too cute. It was like watching a kid who'd just noticed girls for the first time. From behind her hand a small chuckle burst loose evolving quickly into full-blown gales of laughter.

This only made Raph blush harder, much to April's amazement since he was so red to begin with. Desperately he tried to hide his red face behind his hand, but to no avail.

"Shut up," he sputtered, gazing at her helplessly from behind his fingers. "No girl has ever said she liked me before. How was I supposed to know…?"

He trailed off seemingly unable to finish his sentence.

Biting back another back another burst of laughter a wide grin stretched across her face. Despite all his blustering Raph didn't seem overly upset about her admission, if a little embarrassed. Seeing this side of him, all flustered and red, made her like him even more. Though now April found she had the overwhelming urge to tease him even more. It was only fair after all he'd put her through.

"Well there's not much I can do about it," April said, hands clasped behind her back as she affected an innocent expression. "I mean it's your fault I fell for you, right?"

The small, almost pained groan Raph that let out was music to April's ears. Even as he turned to hide his face from her April could see a tiny smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. Seeing it made her own grin widen in response.

It wasn't what April was hoping for, and it certainly wasn't what she expected, but it was a good start. Now the next step would be persuading him to join the other in watching the rest of the movie. Maybe if she was really lucky she could talk him into sitting next to her.

No need to rush though, April decided as she watched Raph trying desperately to rebuild his composure despite the fact that his face was the same colour as his mask. She'd just have to take it one step at a time.

* * *

I'm tempted to write another one, like showing the aftermath. Maybe I still will. Who knows. I thought about posting this one as part of Acceptable Risk but chose another story instead. Still I figured I should post this one anyways. Hope you liked it :D


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